BS Poll Week 16 Rankings Updated 12/12/03

OTHER RANKINGS:
Associated Press
USA Today/ESPN
BCS Rankings

EXPLANATION:
Poll Average - Average of USA Today/ESPN Coaches and AP Media Polls. If one poll has Nebraska ranked lower than the other, the results of that poll will be thrown out before the average is calculated. Others receiving votes (those unknown teams lumped into one big paragraph at the bottom of a top 25 poll) are calculated in order received, not that teams ranked 26th and higher have any bearing whatsoever on the national championship picture.

Computer Average - Forget Jeff Sagarin, Kenneth Massey and the rest of the eggheads whose computer rankings consistently hurt Nebraskaıs national title hopes. Instead, weıve decided to average the results of two computers: Deep Blue, the 1.4 ton super computer that defeated Gary Kasparov in chess, and HAL9000, from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Of course, we all know that computers are susceptible to glitches and errors. To combat this, we compare all results against an analog simulation of each game using a Tudor Tru-Action Electric Football game. If that should fail, a Casio calculator will be used to generate random rankings for each team.

Fan Opinion - Unlike the BCS, we think the fans should have a say in the national championship picture... at least as much as a sportswriter or computer geek, anyway. We will use the results of our non-biased online fan poll.

Bad Officiating - A point will be subtracted for each bad call that goes against a team through the course of the season. The team that benefitted from the call will have one point added to their score. (For example, the officiating at the 1994 Orange Bowl would have required a 17-point deduction from our BS total.)

Mascots/Uniforms - Rank of mascot toughness (which mascot could beat up the other) compared to other Division I-A teams, divided by 25. This component is calculated by determining the cumulative toughness of the team's opponentıs mascot (66.6 percent) and the cumulative toughness of the teams' opponentıs opponentıs mascot (33.3 percent). Points are subtracted or added for teams with uniforms that are particularly appealing or appalling. For instance, Virginia Tech would have points added for their putrid burnt orange and maroon uniforms. Once all mascot/uniform points are tallied, teams are ranked accordingly.

Schedule Rank - This is determined by a simple formula of adding one point for each patsy on the schedule. (This is to ensure that teams like Kansas State will NEVER play for the national championship.) Teams are ranked according to fewest patsy points.

Losses - One point deduction for a loss to a respectable team (i.e., a ³quality loss²). Two points for a loss to a laughing stock. Three points for a loss to Baylor.

Cornerstone Standard Correction for Accurate Measure (C-SCAM) - Our statisticians perform a weekly analysis of the rankings to prevent bias and inaccuracies. After reviewing each teams position and score, adjustments are made (points added or subtracted) to ensure the overall integrity of the rankings.


NOTES:
It's like golf. You WANT to have the lowest score!

Although the BCS ranking includes the top 15 teams, we've narrowed it down to the top 10. Does anyone really care who's ranked 11th to 15th, anyway? We certainly don't.*

*In the rare and cruel event that Nebraska is not ranked in the top 10, this policy will be subject for review.